My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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