playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Watching her eat just hurts me
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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