i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
