sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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