Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
