I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize