nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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