She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
