Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
