In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize