from now on my penis is your penis
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
