I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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