How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
