There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
