I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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