I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
