My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
