You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
