i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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