The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
