margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
