I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
