My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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