I wish I only lived at night.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
