he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
