There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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