If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
