I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
