I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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