do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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