So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
