masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
