So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize