Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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