just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
