I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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