I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
