my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
