The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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