Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
