He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
