At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You pole danced in your parka.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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