He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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