You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So much rum. So many feels.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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