Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
