I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
