the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
