i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
