this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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