I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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