you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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