dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
