We got so high we made milksteak
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
