its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Even my vagina gasped.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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