I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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